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I'm no expert in relationships. That is why I wonder why people come to
me to ask for advice. It's not that I am complaining. In fact, I do enjoy listening to other people when they pour out their
heartaches. I remember most of my friends telling me that I should've pursued a degree in psychology and become a therapist.
I just shrug it off and smile whenever I hear comments like that. At one point in time, I did consider taking up psychology.
But I chickened out when I saw that the curriculum included Math 11 and 14 plus Statistics. I really do fear Math, you know.
So, I took Sociology and Philippine Literature instead. Thus, you can see the strands of those two disciplines with the way
I write.
I believe that the writer cannot be separated from her social milieu. I, for one thing, write stories and
poems that I have actually experienced. A glimpse of the environment that I am in is reflected in my stories.
Just
this moment, I came across a quotation which compared a relationship to a sand held in our hand. It says that if we held it
loosely in an open hand, it stays where it is. But the minute we close our hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand cascades
through our fingers. We may still have bits and pieces of the sand in our hand but most of it will be thrown.
It made
me think real hard. In an instant, it made me think about my present relationship. Have I been holding the sand in my hand
too tightly that it nearly cascaded through my fingers without me even noticing it? Yes, I have. Specially when the pangs
of loneliness and insecurity creeps the hell out of me.
Funny, I have long been telling friends not to hold the sand
too tightly for they might lose everything that is left in the palm of their hands. But I, too, am guilty of the one
thing I preach them not to do. Sigh, suffice it to say that when the time comes that we let our old habits control us, when
we are not aware of our feelings and the root cause of all those fears, we are lost. We succumbed to our weaknesses, let doubts
and all those negative feelings overpower us. That is when the sand in our hand truly cascades until we no longer have a bit
of it in the palm of our hand.
I definitely do not want it to happen to me. Not with the one person I love most in
my life.
So, I will always be aware that a relationship is like a sand held in my hand. In Kaleel Jamison's words:
"Held
loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively,
and the relationship slips away and is lost."
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